My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
