Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
