If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize