im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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