My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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