I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
