is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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