do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
