I think I just saw someone hide a body.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
