Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
