why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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