woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize