i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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