Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
