Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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