what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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