So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
