Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
