I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
