I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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