dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
