I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
