doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
