Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
