i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
