I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
