Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
