Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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