My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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