2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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