youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
