The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
