Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
