If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
did i walk over a car last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
