I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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