Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
