is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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