You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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