Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just forgot I was standing up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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