:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
