Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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