Apparently you make a good broom.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
