Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
