Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
