its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
