normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
