Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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