Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
