i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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