Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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