I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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