True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
