wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you made out with another girl for some wings
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
