i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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