so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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