But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
