This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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