hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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