Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
