Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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