So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
