I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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