Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
