So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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