If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
