Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
