There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
